A Circle Group:

Go edit ?acg statement of who we are!

Relational communication in the service of activism and movement building

MAX: 47, long-time activist, counselor; focused on connection and relationality in group work. Process over product: zen approach.

JANE: 39, professor at public university; how to weave theory with practice?

DAVE: 31, counseling & psych student, activist: how to link generations, make changes in (sub)cultures of movement(s).

EMMA: 61, fiery grandma, wise renewed activist; how to create cultures of support and care while completely abandoning empire?

A dining room, 11:45 on a cold and windy Friday morning in Portland. A kettle is just beginning to whistle, and beans and rice are warming on the stove in the kitchen through an open door. JANE is bustling about, gathering plates and mugs. DAVE enters from the kitchen, carrying sliced bread. MAX arrives, shaking off a bit of moisture from his rain gear.

MAX: Oh, it's good to get inside. Brrr.

JANE: Max, welcome!

Jane gives Max a warm hug.

MAX: I've got some kale; can I steam it quickly?

JANE: Of course! Dave, there's still some hot water, in there?

Dave hugs Max on the way into the kitchen; a bit reserved from Max's side. Tension?

The outside door opens and EMMA blows in.

EMMA: YES! I'm here! We're all here? Let's do this, kids.

Fade out. Fade in: Same camera angle, same room, all are now seated around the table. DAVE is midsentence: earnest, self-reflective.

DAVE: ...my check-in. First day of teaching last Tuesday. Wow! I think I was charming – I can't help trying to be. I want them to feel how much good they can do in the world, if only we can learn to support better group process! But once I stopped with the rhetoric and started with the questions and answers, I got uncomfortable and they could tell. Nerves, of course, but deeper too: something about academia itself was ...

Fade out. Fade in.

EMMA: ...when my mother died. But this is different. I think death starts to look and smell and feel different when almost all your parent's generation is gone, when so many friends and colleagues are buried -- or what's worse, in living graves. Somehow, it's less of a tragedy, more of a tool for clarity. That's what I'm feeling, anyhow. Gina tells me I'm callous in that half-joking way; but it's more that the life of the world is what I'm focused on, not just...

(more check-ins) (agenda setting?)

Fade out. Fade in.

JANE: ...you have a choice, always, right?

MAX: Yeah, that makes sense. My heart's feeling lighter now. Smiles. I'm ready to move to the next item.

JANE: OK, so we're still working on that article we've been asked to write on who and what we are.

EMMA: We did so much work on this in the retreat: can't we just give them what we came up with there?

DAVE: You weren't here last time. We read aloud a piece based on that, and it sounded flat. Let's see... (shuffles papers) (example quotes). OK, we all consensed on that. But really, there's so much more complexity to what we do – and it's at least as much in how we treat each other, the emotional registers, the disagreements and how we deal with them.

MAX: Right, that's marked our work from the very beginning!

EMMA: “Process versus product”! (laughs)

JANE: Exactly. Remember how in the beginning we were always focused on how this was going to provide direct services to movement groups?

DAVE: (shyly) Aren't we still focused on that? I mean, we're each working with various groups, a lot of which are trying to figure out how to change the culture of our movements to be more relationally skillful. And then ACG helps us each do that better.

JANE: True, but that's not how we thought this would work. In fact, I remember some pretty tense moments...

EMMA: Yeah, all you kids were stuck in your heads, trying to categorize and analyze the social failings of the movement. Me too, for a second. “What are the three most destructive forms of patriarchal leadership?” “When consensus groups lack clarity around boundaries, what are the most common outcomes?” OK, well and good, and then what?

JANE: (a bit stiffly) Well, I still think it's useful to trace out and document some of the patterns we've all seen over and over, learn from our mistakes!

MAX: (chuckles) And our biggest mistake? Trying to rush things before the relational trust was really there. Am I right? Remember when a bunch of us were going to those peace coalition meetings, which were collapsing yet again over the old “violence/non-violence” issue. We had done all this analytical work, we were ready to really do some good, provide a service as mediators of the conflict.

EMMA: But the trust wasn't quite there. I remember that moment, when we thought we were ready to offer services as ACG.

DAVE: (chagrined) Yeah I remember it! Part of me still kicks myself that we couldn't figure out a way to do it. The radicals and liberals in the peace movement are further apart than ever, these days.

MAX: (soberly) I hear that concern, Dave. Believe me, I want that healing at least as much as you do. But I've been in that movement many years, have a lot of reputation and credibility at stake. Yeah, we'd done some good work together. But how was I to know how you, or Jane, or even Emma would react when we were in the middle of a sensitive discussion? It felt like the risk was too great.

JANE: (pensive) So we stood back, and started to explore our own relations in more depth. And discovered that in dancing back and forth, between our most intimate and individual experiences and feelings, and our “work in the world”, ...

etc. shocker: Max is nervous because Dave's attracted to him and he doesn't know how to handle it! But the team works it out. (wink wink)